Posted in Journal

Staying Sane, Staying Light

Every time I am done with a large deadline, I feel an enormous wave of calm wash over me, as if all my worries were over for the rest of my life. Of course, I am well aware that they are not, but somehow my brain shuts down negativity and allows myself to indulge in social media without any shade of guilt-tripping. I am riding on one such a small high at the moment.

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Posted in Journal

Birth Of A Tiger Wife

I want to become a formidable woman.

The thought strikes me as Mr Beloved’s phone rings for the second time with the same unknown number flashing across the screen. He’s asleep in another room, heavily dosed with four different drugs thanks to a fever spike that set in prior to ward rounds today evening. Miraculously, he managed to get out of doing the rounds and sleep in the residents’ room before I went to get him. I’m guessing Christmas-New Year break must mean lesser patient load and admissions in general. I was able to go pick him up around 8, but as luck could have it, the heavens decided out of the blue that we had had enough of our dry winter spell and drenched me in due process while I was on my way, and he ended up taking a rickshaw after all.

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Posted in Musings

Going With The Flow

I tell myself that I’m too busy, that my work is too hectic, and everything is moving much too fast. That this is not what I wanted, not what I signed up for. My choice to do post graduation in preventive medicine was fuelled by the idea of having evenings and weekends to myself than by an aptitude towards fieldwork or academia. It was during our compulsory residential internship that I came to this conclusion.

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Posted in Musings

Tightrope Living

Precarious. That’s the adjective closest to how I feel these days. Walking on a tight rope from one day to the next, balancing my emotions and trying not to be lured to free-fall into the abyss below my feet. Every step seems to carry the weight of my existence. And it is made heavier by the load of some very real responsibilities I have shouldered and evaded for far too long – ones that need to be addressed acutely.

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