Posted in Journal

Birth Of A Tiger Wife

I want to become a formidable woman.

The thought strikes me as Mr Beloved’s phone rings for the second time with the same unknown number flashing across the screen. He’s asleep in another room, heavily dosed with four different drugs thanks to a fever spike that set in prior to ward rounds today evening. Miraculously, he managed to get out of doing the rounds and sleep in the residents’ room before I went to get him. I’m guessing Christmas-New Year break must mean lesser patient load and admissions in general. I was able to go pick him up around 8, but as luck could have it, the heavens decided out of the blue that we had had enough of our dry winter spell and drenched me in due process while I was on my way, and he ended up taking a rickshaw after all.

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Posted in Musings

Secret Santa

I watched a host of videos by The School of Life around the time of my nervous breakdown this year. They were a major factor that helped to pull me out of my rut and get back to living. And now, every time I encounter a friend going through a difficult time in their relationships, I have a whole set of earmarked videos that I send their way.

There was one video in particular that dealt with the qualities it took to build and nourish a successful relationship, and instead of love, they largely focused on something else altogether – kindness. About how we need to treat our partners the way we would a child; we have to acknowledge their flaws and be gentle with them rather than showering indignation at their imperfections. This is one of the core messages that have stayed with me after going through all their content. It seems like a simple task, and yet difficult. And so powerful.

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Posted in Musings

Procrastination

Calm.

As it settles comfortably around my chest, I feel a mix of relief and fear. This is all too familiar – taking a break and lying in bed, letting the mails crowd my inbox without breaking into my head. I know I’m going to regret this morning spent purely on printed words and dialogues speeding at 1.25x. I know I’d ask myself in another two days as deadlines overwhelm me why I spent an entire hour listening to the little yellow clock ticking away next to me as I contemplated how to fill the rest of my day. Why, I’d certainly be exasperated by even just the end of the day when I realise I’ve forgotten to send 2 out of 4 emails as promised to a colleague and watch the sky darken with her foul mood and indifferent texts.

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Posted in Journal

The Interlude Between Death and Laughter

I just woke up dreaming that I was writing a blog post. You know how it is – when there is something compelling that needs to be done and you’re so lazy that your brain makes up stories and fools you into thinking you’ve done it. I’ve been fooled a lot many times. Throughout school, I would dream that I was getting up, brushing my teeth and getting ready for school only to wake up with a jolt at my father’s loud exclamation and realise that I had only 15 minutes left to do all that before the school bus arrived.

“I dreamt that I was ready”, I would shout, half-apologetically, half-incredulously, as I made my way to the bathroom hastily avoiding my parents’ gaze and an odd hand frozen in the air mid-strike.

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