Posted in Musings

All The Nothings

I miss everything we never did.

I miss the spontaneous road trip that we were never on. I miss all the long conversations we never had, sitting side by side on a cold winter night and watching the sky darken and then lighten up all over again. I miss how we never laughed and laughed till you teared up and I fell on my side with a knot in my stomach. How we never sat quietly with a song between us and had silences to show for how we had each other’s back.

I miss how we never shopped together. How I never dragged you to stores and made you wait while my self-conscious self rejected a 100 dresses and some. I miss how we never had joints to frequent, or how we never shared a plate of street food. I miss how we never shared a tantrum, or a sore joke, or a few day’s worth of cheap revenge.

I miss the world that I was never really a part of.

I miss how we never spent so much time together that we stopped counting the moments altogether, and just let ourselves be.

I miss how I never leaned on to your shoulder absent mindedly while reading a book by your side. Or forgot all the boundaries that fall away so easily with constant proximity.

I miss the easy laughter, the fast hugs, the inside jokes, the epic stories. The shared dreams and realities that break all barriers and dissolve into that sense of deep familiarity that always stays around, irrespective of what distances may later pop up.

I miss all that we never came to be… and all that we never will be.


A wayward thinker hiding behind the facade of necessary courtesies

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